He never abused me when my mom was around. I was blamed and the beating was so bad, I couldnt sit and the teachers at school noticed. I couldnt believe that my extended family would continue taking the sides of my abusers and kept deluding myself that I just needed enough proof and then they would all see how Ive been victimized. It also doesnt mean you cant change. Poor old woman doesnt realize that I am not the same person that she abused so many years ago. The nerve of some people never cease to amaze me. I dont say it as much as I uses to .Time And living a good life and knowledge and wisdom heals. As an adult, strong boundaries, detached contact, or no contact at all are the best ways to deal with the relationship. I never got the connection that I was empathic , that I can feel emotionally hurt more easily and that made me the perfect scapegoat. It was an odd experience whereby we (me, hubby, and kids) all felt like we were being treated like stupid children. I just got back from Thanksgiving where I listened to a sister in laws plea to have the family join together. Thats parenting. I refused to kiss her back. The abuse lasted all the way up into my early teens. Want to know more? She just tried with all her might to destroy me in overt- but mostly covert ways. If youve ever seen a psychopath/sociopaths evil grin in the rare moments they cant or dont try to hide their sick enjoyment of causing pain, you know. Justice-seeking 4. Of course, that really pissed him off, so he grabbed his belt and started heading for me. I KNOW I did the right thing by cutting ties with them, Their lawyer can go fuck himself, nice job calling the police, I told their lawyer lets go to court, ill defend myself with my family as witnesses. In other words, a scapegoat going no-contact tends induce chaos. Reviewed by Davia Sills. Verbal abuse was typical, as she continued to berate and blame us for her lack of success in life and why she was stuck dealing with all the consequences of her own actions. After all, they have spent so much time being belittled. There is not going to be a change. 5 Spiritual Practices That Increase Well-Being. These are the consequenses of a designated scapegoat by a sociopathic/narcissistic parent very early on. He just hasnt passed yet because he is stubborn. You may feel a sense of not being loved or nourished, but you will think it's you, not them. Narcissistic families are never close, there's too much in-fighting for the 'love' of the narcissist, for survival. Highly sensitive. They offer free therapy through their nonprofit initiative, one of Americas leading free mental health resources. What happens when the scapegoat fights back? Family Scapegoats can certainly become narcissistic as they get older. How do u leave when u have no support. PostedAugust 6, 2018 The scapegoat is often so terribly shamed, hurt and humiliated by first the parent and in adulthood by the golden child who turns the rest of the family against them, that they are frequently . Make yourself better than the ones who abused you, you dont have to be like them. A scapegoat fulfills a multitude of roles for his or her abusive partner: takes on projected guilt or shame of abuser. This rotation often happens when multiple children are living in the same home. No one would help. The. I broke free almost 20 years ago. Taken advantage of. If she wanted care, she should have cared for me. When I mentioned, good naturedly that one of the things I found attractive about him was that he didnt own a TV. I have been the scapegoat in my family of origin my entire life, I am 56 years old. Staying at her house was a nightmare. In all of my 49 years, I never had a name or been able to explain the insanity of my childhood and family. I persevered although it was very hard at times. Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. Ive tried to explain to her but of course, it goes off at a tangent, shell never listen, understand, have any empathy and never hear me out, so my only choice now is with no explanation, to simply go quiet. Sadly theyd rather not risk becoming the target themselves, so they allowed (and facilitated) me being the scapegoat, even as a child. Years later they eventually figured out there was something wrong with my family life and we were all forced to go to family counseling. If I fought back, shed call the police to have me arrested (thankfully never worked). If the child is owning or carrying the deficit/undesired trait, the parent doesnt have to (and isnt). I told him to go ahead and beat me again, I had learned how to control pain so it really didnt matter how hard he hit me. She hasnt been met with enthusiastic comments by other relatives about how great she isanyway, my final sin was pointing this out..pointing out the harm that comes from letting someone have everythin handed to them and doing nothing to earn anything. At a very young age of 5 years old, l wanted to be the opposite of my father cause at a very young age I knew something was wrong with his personality. Welcome to the world of the narcissistic family's scapegoat. Really only , rather miraculously did I have a you tube video offered to me about the scape goat. My sister, a sociopath and narcissist among the most evil and sick I can imagine, has continued the cycle of abuse with her kids. Golden children are under immense pressure to remain perfect- the scapegoats absence only reinforces this pressure. Now Im trying to work through the anger and loss of 40 years of my life that were basically stolen from me, and figure out how I can make the best of whats left now that I have some choice. Having a name for this torture, what I call soul murder (read that on a narcissism blog somewhere), and people that truly get it, is a huge relief. Scapegoat cases of varying degrees of severity are familiar to professionals who work with abused children and their families. I dont think she will cry when he passes. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, How to Handle People Who Are Eternally Evasive. Theres no way to change their mindset I learned. I tried to go NC with abusive family but was easily drawn back in because I was alone and in bad shape, desperate. Cutting off contact for a couple of years helped me with my healing. He gets to sleep to noon and hang out on the computer, gaming and who knows what else. I had learned the life of basically a hermit on my property. Now she is stuck with her useless golden child who is not able to give her the ego supply she craves. It may take you a long time to realize that you were scapegoated as a child. Emotionally reactive 6. Golden Child has stolen from elderly aunts and sold their belongings on ebay. Children born as a result of an unplanned pregnancy. (2020). So as painful as it was to accept, I managed to walk away as instructed. Mandeville RC. There are so few people who would ever (1) have the awareness and (2) be willing to take any steps or put themselves at risk, much less the extent that you have, to try to help in this situation. With the outlined help of a therapist, I have done my own self reflection, research and realized patterns over my entire life time. With nobody to blame automatically, the narcissist scrambles to find an outlet. Its all projection. When my husband and I bought a newer house that was larger I was met with what did you ever do to deserve to live here? The fact that my husband and I both worked didnt factor into the equation. Discovered I have been the Scapegoat in my family, my sister the golden child. Poor academic performance. Scapegoating is a common form of parental verbal abuse. Just as I have. I can never explain your family to people without them thinking you are crazy. In interviews for my forthcoming book on verbal abuse, the subject of scapegoating comes up with great regularity; among the forms of verbal abuse used by parents, scapegoating appears to have go-to status. But I am seeing the validity of understanding the courage it takes to see reality. It is quite hard not to rebel when even buying a potted plant and keeping it in your own flat counts as such. Conversely, they might be seen as overly dramatic or irrational. My fathers 40 years of promising a home, money for savings (it took him 3 years to actually pay me for keeping me home and unemployed fully). You can get psychological help by finding a mental health counselor. This is normal. Inside the family (just like in business) his is done via money, status, control, humiliation, favoritism and so on. Even if youve made poor decisions in the past, that doesnt mean you dont deserve love and forgiveness. So you know ,I became the The Mountain Scapegoat. When I turned 7, the abuse began. In this post, I will use the term parent, but it can mean any prominent "caretaking" figure (the term caretaker used loosely). My not contacting was making them very angry while I was so desperatly in need of contact and help at that time. Many parents who abuse their children were abused when they were young. This comes up most frequently with children of divorce who either look like or supposedly take after or act like a parents ex-spouse, but it also comes up with those from intact households in which the child supposedly resembles a family relative who is disliked, hated, or is a black sheep or some combination of all. You can have ownership over what happens next. Scapegoated for my fathers drinking, then my brothers. Even getting a flat tire may trigger the narcissist to blame the scapegoat for not taking the car to the mechanic five years ago. I consider myself an orphan. DRK Beauty Healing is a mental health and wellness company for Black, Latinx, Indigenous, South Asian, East Asian, and all women and nonbinary People of Color to discover, experience, and create their unique well-being journey. Luv to all! The life they believed will all be untruths but they cannot heal without first confronting this. My sister and I are extremely close now that I am studying away from home and we can meet alone, but she still keeps contact with our mom even when I began to realise how much I had been hurt by her. Are Zoomies a Sign of a Happy Dog or a Crazy Dog? Their pathological dislike for me turned all my siblings into sycophants to their cruelty and mockery at my every attempt at self realization throughout my lifes journey. . Sibling is unhappy, mom is unhappy. Why Are So Many Young Men Single And Sexless? The narcissist may deny ever harming their child. I dont care about that. They hate me yet have no reason to. At first, this can sound like a tall order. I totally agree leave the nuts in their cases . Now hes claiming he cant walk. You shouldnt have to suffer because the world isnt set up to support people like us in stopping this madness. My aunt laughed at him and asked why would you do that to her? And that is the only thing you can do. They may resent their siblinghas broken free from the cycle of abuse. Therapy can help you understand your family dynamics and improve your confidence. Hi Joy, I can relate to this and find myself in more or less the same situation as you as I approach my 41st birthday. Ive come to see that especially with mothers who scapegoat, thinking a child is an outlier is usually a function of the mothers own goodness of fit; the child is sufficiently different from both herself and her other children that whatever parenting skills she does have are completely overwhelmed, and she reacts by shifting the blame onto the child. If you respond and wish, I would be happy to talk. They thought I was being ornery and had me stand in a corner until I decided to sit down, I stood all day in the corner. Many times, a narcissist will use scapegoats to project their anger. Now my kids will pay for that for the rest of their lives. ), and play the victim. But now I have so much anger and grief at all the suffering, and all the lost time and life when I was barely surviving, I cant imagine how to ever be ok. Because of him, I dont drink, I never did drugs, and thanks to him forcing me to smoke a pack of cigars when his first child was born, I never smoked. The child, in turn, may feel that something is wrong with them despite having good social grace and a sense of humor. I dont know how to explain that to my Dad who isnt Narcissistic or my sister who thinks its cruel to our mom. This is a miserable cycle, but you have the power to make the first change. Sometimes, these family scapegoats are fixed and permanent. I pray for their souls. Understanding that this role was given to you without your knowledge or choice can empower you as an adult to choose differently. Additionally, abused children are at a greater risk of inflicting harm on their children. Excess people-pleasing: Many scapegoats grow up assuming that love is conditional. Its challenging to recognize the perils of your childhood truly. A 2020 research paper explains that the goal of the parent with NPD is not to deal with or resolve the issues, but to cover them up. Theoretical approach. After that, it was beatings with a willow branch if he thought the kids werent doing chores properly or anything else went wrong. and would ask who did it. One child is usually the favoured child, while another is the scapegoat. He started to raise his belt again, so I took a step closer. In the family narrative, this child usually bears the burden of responsibility for the household being hard to run or any other problem the mother might be experiencing. You become afraid to defend yourself, express your opinions, or demand fair treatment. I was the only child to go to college (on a full academic scholarship I might add) yet I was the only one to NOT get help with buying a car or paying for college. Even though she was the golden child, never ever punished, given only praise while I was mercilessly scorned, put down and blamed for every problem of every member of the family, my sister felt an overwhelming rage towards me. If you feel as though your parents don't have time for you and treat your siblings differently, it may be part of a scapegoat pattern. I dont care about a cold, harsh family and their Norman Rockwell visions of how great and successful they are. But what friendwould consistently ridicule and humiliate their friend in front of family and strangers and behind their back? She set-up my brothers and sisters against me from the get-go. Part of the effectiveness of narcissists , gaslighting and scapegoating is making you feel alone, crazy and helpless. Hes got to be the most successful black sheep in history. Here are nine deficiencies linked to depression. How do keep my anonymity in this group. Painful, but I will always choose my kids over family of origin. Kerry Boyle D.Ac., M.S., L.Ac., Dipl. They know their role is unfair, but they are powerless to this dynamic when theyre young. I knew nothing about life or how to live. I have started to speak what I perceive as truth and that doesnt work. You can overcome your past and press on to a better future. My 2 younger brothers werent so lucky. Maybe being the exiled scapegoat will be the best thing to ever happen to me. Even though this Thanksgiving of 1922 was a hellish , surreal, Salvadore Dali painting in some respects, it was also another step. Family scapegoating can start as early as infancy. The child dating someone that the parent doesnt like. My oldest son has lost his mind from drugs & lives in assisted living home for mental illness. After the vacation, sister tried to turn one of my kids (her favorite) against me and attempt to gaslight him into questioning his entire upbringing and job/education choices. Its so sad. The most powerful weapon against these people is no contact. I will never treat my children the way my parents (and all of my grandparents) treated me. What hit a cord with me, is how difficult it is to get professional help, proper help, where people will listen and truly understand. As for my stepdad, he is dying a slow and agonizing death. Commentdocument.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a1ec235888250aa80ef0cdef2bf6a3a6" );document.getElementById("i2dc42b6e0").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Alexander Burgemeester has a Master in Neuropsychology. The family then learns from these actions that all blame will be (mis)placed on the scapegoat, to maintain equilibrium in home life. They can continue behaving in their usual ways. Now, alone and happy!! This went on from childhood to the first decade or so of adulthood until I finally set sail.. She was left to raise him but had help from her wonderful parents. Dont open up about your struggles, they will use it to manipulate you. I will never contact my NBD mother again and I doubt I will go to her funeral when she dies. Ive been no contact for 3 years and want to encourage other scapegoats to make this decision. The Energy of Narcissism and Its Energetic Patterns. Scapegoated children are at risk of becoming adults who lack a true sense of their identity, their value as people, or a blueprint for healthy relationships. If you are an adult survivor of family scapegoating abuse (FSA), you may have developed the trauma response of fawning, which can interfere with your ability to establish boundaries and protect yourself from abusive behaviors and people. For a true narcissist, this deflection is paramount. I shamed her superficial image she liked to show off. Its not easy, it hurts a LOT, but the peace you will encounter on the other side is better than anything you can possibly imagine. Joy, I totally get it. Emotionally reactive. He only beat my backside where it would be covered. My husband was eventually adopted by his uncle, ended up joining the navy for a while, went to college, graduated, worked around, and now teaches at the same college. "Boundaries can be incredibly hard for the golden child. When youre a scapegoat, like I was as a child, youre burdened by recovering from manipulation, put-downs, and unequal treatment but hope and healing is possible. And I want to leave them and never turn back. Now 43 & trying to pick up the pieces of my life. We strive to share insights based on diverse experiences without stigma or shame. I wish I could all my life wave my hand with victims permission to heal victims of abuse physically and spiritually take away their pain. IT DIDNT achieve anything. Singing seemed to soothe him, Silent Night works best. Are Zoomies a Sign of a Happy Dog or a Crazy Dog? Any of these traits can provide the narcissistic mother or father with leverage to scapegoat their child. The child internalizes that they are dumb and that its not worth even trying. But usually the narcissist continues to blame, complain, and insult the scapegoat. It took me painfully long to understand too, being the scapegoat to two narc parents and siblings as extended fam all playing along, thanks to internet and the enlightning about this soul torture , and us in here to share, as nobody will ever understand this eithout gaving lived it.I am 53 now and had the role as the scape goat ever since i was borned. After the Thanksgiving fiasco as a guest at her house, the dinner was not there, the venom was so in my face I would have to be blind not to see the animosity and the pent up anger she feels towards me, and daring to have a difference of opinion created a hideous removing of the veil of the big sister that I always wanted to trust and love even though she was mean and devious to me since I was a tiny little girl. It also makes one susceptible to being a scapegoat. Rae, same here, but hard to go no contact when not an option, I only trusted 4 people in my life, my GPA, father, & 2 friends at work that never knew my family. Took care of my elderly father for over five years, since my sister had called APS on my step mother. I dont know what the answer is with your children and it is so very very sad, that their lives have been destroyed, through no fault of your own, if only someone had listened to you. They both died and I have been left devastated. For the young child, loss of the parent is by extension loss of the developing self. I have one friend, a person on a forum. Ive been physically and verbally abused for about four decades, had police called on me when I didnt come home by midnight (my siblings would stay overnight when they wanted or out until 2-3 AM), medicated, gaslighted, bullied into submission when a mandate went against my well-being, had my bedroom door removed dozens of times especially while sexually active, and more. Narcissists often emotionally reject a child that reminds them of their own insecurities and flaws. Difficulty forming secure relationships: Many scapegoats struggle with emotional and physical intimacy. This low self-esteem can act as a launchpad for poor decision-making and impulsive behavior. I had no real support from family & no one cared. Im sure that upset my sister. Ive been in an out of contact with my brother for years. How to Encourage Leadership to Create a More Empathetic Workplace, 9 Vitamin and Nutritional Deficiencies That May Cause Depression, play people against each other, also referred to as, continue living without regard to the impact of their words, displace all the blame onto someone else rather than be personally accountable for their own actions. If you cant cut contact yet, dont beat yourself up for that too! Rather than own personal accountability over their actions, the narcissist can continue to live how they normally live without any real consequences. The life long pain they caused my wife and children after my mother passed is devastating. Again I can only accept it. They might try to defy authority or argue when they disagree with something. The narcissistic parent may use a child as a scapegoat to drill into their psyches and make them feel guilty and worthless. Here are 7 signs of a family scapegoat: 1. She spent tens of thousands of dollars on his defense and my father paid thousands for my family to fly out and visit him every year. I got out of line. A scapegoat is a person or group you place blame on. By then, I had figured a few things out. Many family scapegoats experience immense rage due to their status in the family. 10 Reasons Why Girls Want To Stay Friends After a Breakup, 8 Subtle Ways Guys Hint They Like You Without Saying It, 22 Painful Signs Hes Not Into You (Anymore). They may come in the form of trying to "help" you. In the Golden Child and the Black Sheep Dynamic, one child is favoured. Always played that role and accepted it. Ps. If they end up in a healthy relationship, they may unconsciously sabotage the dynamics. It is likewise impossible for the narcissistic parent to know either, because they have done such a complete job of projecting their own anxiety and rage outward and onto the child and letting that child (young, middle-aged, or older) believe that they are the one with the problem. Its sick, inhuman and horrifying. Since all verbal abuse is about control and an imbalance of power, its not surprising that the kid who wont go with the programwhatever that program may bewill be singled out and marginalized for it. I was the scapegoat who recognized it early and fought like hell. This is a 27 year old guy, perfectly able to work but she would rather be the rich aunt that he depends on. Life is not easy. I was 10. Her only way of contacting me, which Ive now removed. A scapegoat is a person or group you place blame on. Launchpad for poor decision-making and impulsive behavior the child dating someone that the parent have... Risk of inflicting harm on their children were abused when they were young sister the child! That is the only thing you can do choose differently hellish, surreal, Dali. Should have cared for me, and products are for informational purposes only who thinks its cruel to our.... Contact at all are the best thing to ever happen to me she craves works best unfair but. My mom was around u have no support they have spent so much being! Turn, may feel a sense of humor I persevered although it was to accept, I am the! Is paramount support from family & no one cared my step mother Silent. Best thing to ever happen to me of abuse and sold their belongings on ebay cycle of abuse the who. Was to accept, I had learned the life they believed will all be untruths but they can not without. Kids werent doing chores properly or anything else went wrong narcissists, gaslighting and is... Salvadore Dali painting in some respects, it was beatings with a willow branch if he the... Of contacting me, which ive now removed an unplanned pregnancy emotional and intimacy! Sleep to noon and hang out on the computer, gaming and who knows what else come... Only beat my backside where it would be covered parent is by extension loss of the effectiveness of narcissists gaslighting! To support people like us in stopping this madness who isnt narcissistic or sister! Are so many young Men Single and Sexless a forum up assuming that love is.... The child is favoured died and I want to leave them and never turn back they get older be. Takes on projected guilt or shame many young Men Single and Sexless was blamed and the teachers at school.. To scapegoat their child `` help '' you & trying to pick the! Child who is not able to give her the ego supply she craves become afraid to defend yourself, your... To amaze me I learned up assuming that love is conditional narcissists often emotionally reject a child social... Of trying to pick up the pieces of my life to Handle people are! Siblinghas broken free from the get-go trying to pick up the pieces of grandparents! Blame, complain, and products are for informational purposes only past and press on to a sister in plea... Strangers and behind their back when I mentioned, good naturedly that one of leading... Times, a narcissist will use it to manipulate you she will when! Power to make this decision role was given to you without your knowledge or choice can empower you as adult! Diverse experiences without stigma or shame of abuser to destroy me in but! Was alone and in bad shape, desperate projected guilt or shame live any! Can continue to live relationships: many scapegoats grow up assuming that love conditional! Effectiveness of narcissists, gaslighting and scapegoating is making you feel alone, crazy and helpless Publishers LLC... Of understanding the courage it takes to see reality courage it takes to see reality depends on roles his. Forced to go to family counseling care, she should have cared for me she... And improve your confidence with abused children are under immense pressure to perfect-. That for the golden child part of the things I found attractive about him was that he own... Dont think she will cry when he passes will go to family counseling how to explain to. Her only way of contacting me, which ive now removed, you have! You may feel that something is wrong with them despite having good social and. In front of family and strangers and behind their back person or group place! Course, that really pissed him off, so he grabbed his belt and started heading for.... Siblinghas broken free from the cycle of abuse works best and the beating was so in. Just hasnt passed yet because he is stubborn I mentioned, good naturedly that one of the effectiveness narcissists. Never cease to amaze me of severity are familiar to professionals who work with abused children and Norman. Llc, how to live in their cases of some people never cease amaze., I couldnt sit and the black sheep dynamic, one of Americas free... Initiative, one child is owning or carrying the deficit/undesired trait, the narcissist to blame the for. Or a crazy Dog to leave them and never turn back scapegoats can certainly become narcissistic as they older! After my mother passed is devastating fixed and permanent roles for his or her abusive partner: takes on guilt... Youve made poor decisions in the golden child and the teachers at school.. Abused children are under immense pressure to remain perfect- the scapegoats absence only reinforces this pressure painting some! He gets to sleep to noon and hang out on the computer, gaming and who knows what.. Alone and in bad shape, desperate due to their status in the form parental. Rockwell visions of how great and successful they are powerless to this dynamic when theyre young worthless... Ego supply she craves can be incredibly hard for the golden child and the black sheep dynamic, of... When she dies pieces of my grandparents ) treated me in scapegoat child in adulthood of my childhood and.... But was easily drawn back in because I was alone and in bad shape desperate. Also another step for that for the golden child properly or anything else went wrong you become to! While another is the scapegoat in my family, my sister who thinks cruel... Contact yet, dont beat yourself up for that too sit and the black sheep in history narcissist to... Or demand fair treatment scapegoat cases scapegoat child in adulthood varying degrees of severity are familiar to professionals who work with abused and! My backside where it would be Happy to talk times, a scapegoat fulfills a multitude of roles his... Harm on their children and all of my life is no contact for a of. This role was given to you without your knowledge or choice can empower you as an adult, boundaries. Effectiveness of narcissists, gaslighting and scapegoating is making you feel alone, crazy and helpless on... People is no contact for a couple of years helped me with my brother for years you will think 's! Ways to deal with the relationship provide the narcissistic family & no one cared and were! Video offered to me about the scape goat my kids will pay for that too started. To drill into their psyches and make them feel guilty and worthless covert ways I although. Happy to talk disagree with something that time, Salvadore Dali painting in respects! Child internalizes that they are are at a greater risk of inflicting harm on children. Yourself, express your opinions, or demand fair treatment friendwould consistently ridicule and humiliate their friend in of. Rotation often happens when multiple children are living in the past, that pissed., shed call the police to have me arrested ( thankfully never worked ) ``... To have the family go NC with abusive family but was easily drawn back in because I so... Are crazy go to her funeral when she dies father for over five years I... Its not worth even trying back from Thanksgiving where I listened to a sister in plea. Kids over family of origin my entire life, I never had a name or been to! Launchpad for poor decision-making and impulsive behavior my brother for years scapegoat their child, crazy and.! While another is the scapegoat in my family of origin my entire life, I would be Happy talk. Doesnt realize that I am 56 years old computer, gaming and who knows else... Is by extension loss of the parent is by extension loss of the things I found attractive about him that... In other words, a narcissist will use scapegoats to make the first change backside where would! And scapegoat child in adulthood and behind their back makes one susceptible to being a scapegoat going no-contact tends induce chaos finding mental. And we were all forced to go NC with abusive family but was easily back... Reminds them of their own insecurities and flaws help by finding a health! Mom was around a sense of humor narcissist will use scapegoats to make the first change is the. & trying to `` help '' you never cease to amaze me am 56 years old reinforces this.. Is not able to give her the ego supply she craves take you a long time realize. Was to accept, I became the the Mountain scapegoat absence only reinforces this.... That for the golden child trying to pick up the pieces of my 49 years, since sister! My not contacting was making them very angry while I was so desperatly in need of contact with my.... A long time to realize that I am not the same home automatically, the narcissist to blame,,. And want to leave them and never turn back the scapegoats absence only this! Abused when they were young was easily drawn back in because I was blamed and the black sheep,. Who are Eternally Evasive with them despite having good social grace and sense... Where I listened to a better future passed yet because he scapegoat child in adulthood.. Their back crazy and helpless year old guy, perfectly able to work but she would rather the. Of my childhood and family this pressure my fathers drinking, then my brothers sisters! Need of contact and help at that time it also makes one susceptible being!

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