So you have the option of reaching out to your ex without it causing damage. Even if you are bisexual and had a relationship with both a male and a female narc and that is why you feel you can compare the damage the woman did to you as worse than what the man did to you, it still doesnt seem fair to say that all women narcs are worse than male narcs and therefore men suffer more damage than woman. Reality They dont love you; they only need you for supply and domination. last time i posted here i said i was pretty sure the narc ex would leave me alone because he embarrassed himself pretty badly and now realized what i think of him. Like he was punishing me KNOWING I didnt feel loved without physical expression on a regular basis. As if to say the 2 months of no contact has made me forget all of his nasty words, actions, caring (manipulating) ploys and that of his mothers too where I should join him in viewing the world with rose colored glasses and ignore the cloud above my head. He said he was enlightened by some of my comments (I told him he was turning into a dirty old man, a pervert-he didnt like that mirror at all) and still loved me wants to stay together. I am shocked at myself..I am savvy.. but his lies and deception shone through and good luck to his new GF ..he wants women with high profiles to further himself.. and I had many contacts.maybe getting so distraught and phoning his Mom was not a good idea.. but hey he said he had his own home yes lies lies lies.. never ending. These people have NO true sense of self so they, like chameleons, change to impress the new supply, but eventually their true pathology will come out. Bipolar, Addict, Narcissist who would have thought that this is who she turned out to be ? I love this app especially since any number on your blocked list wont go to voicemail. He began down grading me, being very demeaning and almost hateful. But well, you know, we talk to people as we talk to ourselves. So, O sent him a mail as well as a letter. Pretty much Im trying to get those ducks lined up because I see the end in my not so distant future. I felt good that they had my unconditional love, but they dont care they dont truly love you back, they just love the fact we fell for it, to use us in every way they can. You are afraid to let him go because you can no longer see who you are without him. They just dont get it. Even with all the mishaps and hurtful things she pulled, she did not seem to do them with intent to hurt. Just left spinning, not knowing what hit us, But if you dig real deep & can manage to think through the brainwashing & brain fog, the one thing they cant and will never be able to take from us is our ability to Love. Then, since narcissists love using shock value, theyll text you in the middle of the night with the photos with a caption that says something like, what do you think your social media followers would think if a picture like this got leaked to them?. I was for a while, because of his manipulations, but even he could not stifle my true nature and I started to rebel against his influence..even if it was well-meaning as he always claimed. I just need to share this as I feel lost sometimes, but on the right path.I wanted to share this, as I am scared of my ex. It was one date and done, but I occasionally every blue moon thought of her and how she was doing these days. And most important the lies were driving me bonkers. All Very Shocking & Very Sad It worked! 1. HUGS!!! Just now I received a call from the x about our daughter and school. This and her finally admitting it was her ex in the car broke me. Whether its good or bad its still with you, and that makes it worth it. We left without saying goodbye. He would never leave if you were worthy to him. I was blocked on her facebook And he obviously does it daily because he sees each one I post . Looking back at my relationship with the N, I realized there were red flags from the beginning. Above all, your main focus would want to be getting primary custody of your child if you can. I love you, with all of my soul and I love US. I saw a future with her. Mine didn't hoover at 3 months because he was seeing someone else. I have no energy to look out of my son and cook and clean.. The cycle begins again. The solicitor states the deed is in force and to get my house back I must pay her close to 65,000. With every transaction, theyll claim they only want to see you happy. There is Always some way to give a sign of living. Stay strong. ), this return is very deliberate and typically won't occur until the narcissist has been gone just slightly longer . Very difficult, but worthwhile. Everything Kim wrote above fits my ex narcissist girl friend to a T. So Briana, don't feel it's the nature of men. The first is if the other person left. This is the point I look back on and realise I was so in love with her the rational part oif my brain stopped working. As for him, I outsmarted him and received closure. My stepdaughter has now been ostracized by him for questioning his behavior. for starters you will soon realize what you need to do for yourself to heal. He begged for me to talk to him and not loose hope, promised it would never happen again and I ignored him. Im down to less than 100 pounds Im about to lose everything I got and he takes my fight to survive and I have to survive my kids mean more than anything and keeping their home and me being happy. I felt your comment ad if it was me saying it. It really is tricky with a covert narcissist as they dont do the really mean things and only do the rage thing occasionally. But I also am a smart guy. All fabrications that held no truth or they held partial truths, but she withheld the reasons behind the actions. He cant be a friend and you know this. You and your children could be in grave danger. His friends still works their, so he could have asked them to call. All I can say is thank you. Does that mean he wasnt a narcissist? I feel extremely grateful. I have to say his drama is entertaining at times. After all, we are human and may not always behave maturely. They have gained absolutely nothing by doing this to us So i have got to stay strong. I know he was abused by his Dad growing up and thats why he has this disorder. So much of what you write about has happened to me and makes me feel that you are writing my story. He fell in love with her in a month or so, just like he did with the past woman and his first marriage and when it happened with me. Wow! She is so orientated by money. But basically, its a low and painful blow that knocks the wind out of you and may take you out of action for a few hours. Grace to you all reading here and I pray you get strength to leave the narcissists in your life and entrust your life into the care of God. Yes, I told him finally a few months after we broke up in an email. They even manipulate you to believe that you are a drama queen or some kind of a very sensitive person. Grow stronger and confident. in regards to this empty soul. he tried to seperate me and my daughter . And I really think he may be a narc. about how beautiful things were, how intense, how storybook, what a couple we were, and how you gradually, inexplicably, painfully, bit by bit, disappeared.. goodness me. Much can be revealed. I told him to F off and all hope I ever had for him was done. I felt like I was a character in my own plot-twist movie. I am trying to find a job and use the bus with my child for transportationBut he called me saying that he does not understand why I need distance and felt like I used him (i felt also used as his promises for me finding a reliable job and be free fell through)he said that I should make it easy on myself and live with him or stay with my child in his guest house (! Now because i feel humiliated i send three long emails to him. Am I bounding myself too much? I avoid face to face as much as possible, we communicate via email and phone messages. Thank You for posting this narcisistic love letter I had prior knowledge from reading self help books and therapy for the abuse myself. PLEASE, DONT TAKE IT AS AN EXUSE, NC should be implemented, because WATEVER INTENTIONS ARE ONE CANNOT STAY IN RELATIONSIPS WITH BPD. Get any documentation together that you can that might prove your Ex isnt fit to be your childs primary custodian,which might include any threatening texts and emails, any charges he may have against him for abuse, drugs, or alcohol. I was obsessing about him even though my life was going well. I have to orders on my ex narcissist and he has come back. It's a personality trait. At that point, thats the one thing the narcissist can never take from you againno matter what he or she decides to do after that. I broke no contact because the new girlfriend and I have always been social. Thats the last thing anyone needsincluding him! I went from the frying pan to the fire!! I have a hard head and have struggled for years. Number kept picking up & hanging up on him; he dont know what in the H is happening. Well scripted text message..His final sentence read Im not a bad man K We still feel their pain and still want to help them. I never said ALL of them.. What I said was they OFTEN are. After he hit me with the garbage, I guess I reacted with instinct and hit him. Lies, lies, lies.. And sex halted to once a month. Two days later i went to my mother. My narc called me an alcoholic, bipolar, bad mum etc etc all in front of police whilst he was raging because i have hidden some assets and he tried to get them and they werent here si he called the police. Where do i stand when i let him still in my heart and in my life? I think in some weird way I keep contact to somehow get to the bottom of it. -Controlling They always have to keep that web in the background intact, and youre a part of it now. Oh yes, and my narc has been telling people I am trying to rip him off and that I am a narc and mentally ill alcoholic, WTF. I knew I loved this person and I felt deep in my heart his sadness and loneliness (so was my understanding.) My daughter picked me up n took me to the hospital where I was admitted n stayed 8 days. She did tell me that he pulls away from her too from time to time, so maybe that is what keeps her engaged. But now youre gone, the narcissist misses the ability to control you. Not without some sadness on my part because the friendship could feel so real. I stricktly wrote him never never to contact me again. I ended up in court slapped with a restraining order to shut me up. I just think he knows everything I do for him and no one else will be that way what do you think. Very, very sad that I have let this woman take up so much wasted space and time in my brain. Thank you Eden, That helps me a lot. What do you think? And they are not happy in their new life. The narcissist starts to panic now that his narcissistic supply is failing.# This actually naturally occurs with people who are narcissistic. I read your story. He will never change, hes not capable. The sooner you see that everythjng is about them, their is a pattern you get caught up in with them. Now, I feel that if one is to be a friend, that they might want to extend their friendship to me as well. He did some terrible things to me but I have a big heart and I also realize that he is sick, so I forgave him. Meditate twice daily for at least 15 minutes I loved her so much. And yes, lack of boundaries and low self-esteem ARE common denominators. You will never have a nice, clean ending. God forbid I have lingering doubts about him. I also want you to know that Im not angry with you, but I am sad some and I do miss you. Are you stuck in the back-and-forth of trying to go No Contact for good? This is only going to set you back again and from someone who did it twice, it is worse cuz they know youll take it and you end up so depressed and confused. He says hes happy with the new girl and wants to remain that way. Apologies, bit late. -0 to 60 when they are angered I wish it where not. But we often continue eating it, anyway. It took moving away from home for graduate school to see just how damaged my family was. I never free up. He could do no wrong, he was that man that came in and saved me loved me When my daughter was born he was loving and very accepting, this lasted for the first 6-7 months. Broken. Just sending you my hugs and hope that things will get better. Thanks for sharing . 30 days of No Contact are the pivot of embracing the breakup and trying to fix yourself. I will have to be strong and say no otherwise will go back in the vicious circle. Now all of a sudden, its not mine. How can he go from being a highly sexual man who loves material posessions, to a man who says he doesnt care if he loses everything and no sex with new girl yet, which I find strange in itself. So now everytime since then when someone comes to my door, I dont answer it unless i know who it is. Door, I outsmarted him and no one else will be that way what do you think me, very... 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